I ask the medical society, if I have lost it finally?

I am a 56 year old white male, that was layed off fron 18 years of service to this one place, back in 2005. I have been out looking, but some times ask my self, if the searches are intense enough.

I find excuses to resist what family members say that I ought to be doing things I have never worked at before.

My self worth is going down. I am with a temp agency, have worked for a month and now nothing again.

I had to totally shave my face, so the grey hairs would not give away my age. I want to run and hide in some dark corner.

It goes on and on. good and bad days. The urges to tell family members to mind their own buisness.

I know I need to work again, but why am I running away, and trying to sabotash what I know I need to be doing?

I ask the medical society, if I have lost it finally?

I don't think you've lost it "like gone crazy" I think you lost your way. If you don't want advice from family then ask to them kindly (believe me I know it's hard) to keep their opinions/suggestions to themselves.And you need to think back to all the things that have worked in your life and how you can hold on to any of that. Whether it be a skill you have, a good friendship, an old contact etc. Good luck 2 u

I ask the medical society, if I have lost it finally?

While I am not a member of the medical community, I can relate quite a bit to what you have said. I am no longer working in my "field" either. I think that sometimes our occupations define so much of who we are that it can be devastating to lose that part of yourself. It's not easy to know what you want to do much less have the same excitement about the future that you had when you were younger.

I have had well meaning friends tell me what they think I "should" do as well. On one hand I found it frustrating and on the other, I think that when I was alone and thought about some of the suggestions...I was able to narrow down what I really wanted. In future conversations, when the subject came up, I could more confidently and firmly (not in a mean way) tell them my own ideas.

I am still on my journey to finding the answer for myself at this stage in my life and I would like to encourage you to continue. This may be a time that you will need to do more self-reflection and go to that dark corner...just try not to stay in the dark corner, it gets too hard to come out if you stay too long.

I hope it helps you to know that there are other people in this world that can relate to what you are going through and sometimes just knowing that you are not alone can be incredibly helpful.

I wish you the best.